119+ Funniest Halloween Jokes For Kids

It’s that bewitching time of the year, and I’ve conjured up a treat just for you – a cryptic collection of the Funniest Halloween Jokes for Kids! Brace yourselves. I’ll lead you through pumpkin patches of humor and the haunted house of hilarity.

Whether you’re new to trick or treating games or a seasoned Halloween enthusiast, these halloween jokes for kids will sprinkle giggles to your celebrations. Are you ready for a howling good time?

Grab your broomsticks, gather ’round the campfire, and let the laughter begin with these funny jokes for kids!

Funny Halloween Jokes For Kids

• Where do college vampires like to shop? Forever 21.
• How do vampires start their letters? Tomb it may concern.
• Where does Dracula keep his money? A blood bank.
• Why did the ghost take his new girlfriend to his hometown? He wanted his boo to see his old haunts.
• What do ghosts like to eat? Spookghetti.

• Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They don’t have the guts.
• Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
• What do you call a dumb skeleton? Bonehead.
• Why did the skeleton climb the tree? A dog was chasing him.
• What instrument do skeletons play in the band? A sax-a-bone.
• Why didn’t the skeleton artist want to show his skull-ptures? Because his heart wasn’t in it.
• If skeletons could be any ruler from history, who would they be? Napoleon Bone-a-Part.
• How do skeletons know what is about to happen? They can feel it in their bones.
• What is a skeleton’s favorite drink? A full-bodied wine.

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• Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
• What noises do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, cackle and pop.
• Why is it so hard trick or treating with twins? You never know which is witch.
• What do witches use to make their hair look perfect? Scare spray.
• Where do ghosts like to go shopping? Boo-tiques.
• Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
• What do you call a cleaning skeleton? A grim sweeper.
• What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.

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• What is a ghost’s favourite yoghurt flavour? Boooooooberry
• Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? They’ve got loads of spirit.
• Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
• Why do people think the Jack o’Lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him? Everyone could see he held a candle for her.
• What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
• How do you fix a broken Jack O’Lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.
• What is a pumpkin’s favourite sport? Squash.

• What did Dracula call his interior design book? Fang-shui.
• Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift? She’s got Bad Blood.
• What do witches ask for at a hotel? Broom service.
• What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone appetit!

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Knock-Knock Halloween Jokes For Kids

• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting to kiss a witch all year!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vampire! Vampire who? Vampire state building!

• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Getyur. Getyur who? Getyur fangs outta my neck!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ooze. Ooze who? Ooze that monster over there?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad it’s Halloween!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howl! Howl who? Howl you be dressing up this Halloween?
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Hugo. Hugo who? Hugo put on a costume for trick or treating.

• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry! I’m just a Halloween trick or treater!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut worry it is just a Halloween joke!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
• Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Ghost. Ghost who? Ghost stand over there and I’ll bring you some candy!

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• Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Bee. Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna hide this dead body?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anakin. Anakin who? Anakin I get some candy, please?
• Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?
• Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you will give me some Halloween candy?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce try again next Halloween!
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Halloween.

• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go for a ride on my broomstick?
• Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Disguise. Disguise who? Disguise dressed up like a monster for Halloween!
• Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Abbott. Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door, where’s my candy?
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tyson. Tyson who? Tyson garlic around your neck to ward off vampires!
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry monster coming to get you.
• Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witches. Witches who? Witches the way to the haunted house?

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Silly Halloween Jokes For Kids

• What’s a vampire’s least favourite meal? Steak.
• Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
• I kissed a vampire last Halloween. Do you know what it felt like? A pain in the neck
• What do you call a vampire in trouble? A grave problem.

• What happens to bees when they get swatted by the Walking Dead? They turn into zom-bees.
• Where do monsters buy cookies? Ghoul scouts.
• What do witches call their garage? A broom closet.
• What do you call two witches who live together? Broom mates.
• Why do ghosts go to theme parks? They love roller-ghost-ers.
• Why can’t the man ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie (Maybe leave this one until the kids aren’t around!)
• What do ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing cream.

• What do female ghosts sing on Halloween? Ghouls just want to have fun!
• What is a witch’s favourite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
• How many abominable snow monsters does it take to screw a lightbulb? Just one, but you have to believe in it first.
• Which type of monster is the best dancer? The Boogeyman.
• What goes ‘hahahaha’ right before a gigantic crash, but keeps laughing? A monster laughing its head off.
• What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
• What did the vampire say when she saw her reflection? Time to get a new mirror.
• How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.

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• Why do ghosts go to the pub? For boos.
• What do monsters like to watch movies on? Wide scream TVs.
• Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
• What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-boo.
• What is a ghost’s favourite dessert? Eye-scream.
• Why do you see so much hair when a werewolf drops his pants? Because it’s a full moon.
• What do horses dress up as for Halloween? Night mares.

• What do you get when you cross Halloween with rugby? Drop ghouls.
• Where do ghosts buy their food? The ghostery store.
• Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
• Where do monsters like to party? At the g-rave-yard.
• How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
• What do ghosts love to drink? Ghoul Aid.

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Halloween Dad Jokes

• Why were Dracula’s pancakes so terrible? They got turned into bat-ter.
• Why do vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Philip. Philip, who? Philip my bag with sweets NOW!
• Why did the headless horseman start work earlier than everyone else? He wanted to get ahead.
• What do owls say when they go trick or treating? Happy Owl-ween.

• Monsters are campaigning for a national holiday. They want to call it Fangs-giving.
• What do fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.
• Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
• What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarine.
• How did the vampire race finish? Neck and neck.
• Which position do ghosts play in football? Ghoul-keeper.
• What do ghosts wear to see better? Spooktacles.

• Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
• What happened to the couple who didn’t pay their exorcist? Their house got repossessed.
• What does Lucifer eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs.
• How do you get rid of demons? Exorcise a lot.
• Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.
• Where do mummy and daddy ghosts take their babies during the day? Day scare.
• How do ghosts search the web? They use ghoul-gle.
• Why do ghosts hate rain on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.

• What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
• Why didn’t the boy’s mother dress up for halloween? She was already a mummy.
• What do you call a chicken that haunts your house? A poultrygeist.
• Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? It was grounded.
• What do you call a disney film about monsters? Poca-haunt-us.
• Who are the werewolf’s cousins? What-wolf and when-wolf.
• How does a scarecrow drink his juice? With a straw!

• What music do mummies like? Wrap music.
• Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
• Why don’t mummies take time off work? They’re afraid to unwind.
• Why do monsters love writing books in a cemetery? Because they have great plots.
• What do monster’s sing to each other when they’re feeling down? Always look on the fright side of life.
• What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

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I hope these ghoulishly delightful Halloween jokes for kids added an extra cackle to your spooky festivities. Share them with your little goblins or save them for the next ghostly gathering – after all, laughter is the best potion!

Wishing you a Halloween filled with treats, not tricks!

Looking for something funny for the adults?

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