183+ Funny Jokes for Adults in 2025

Ever felt like you need a good laugh to survive the week? Well, we’ve got your back!

We’ve handpicked jokes for adults—because who said being a responsible adult means missing out on the fun?

Get ready for a chuckle or two as we explore the lighthearted side of being all grown up. So, kick back, relax, and let the laughter begin, because sometimes, a good joke is the best remedy for navigating the twists and turns of adulthood!

Funny Jokes For Adults

• When I was a boy my mom would send me down to the corner store with $1 and I’d come back with 5 potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, a hunk of cheese, a box of tea and 6 eggs. You can’t do that now… to many fuckin’ security cameras.
• The child to the spy: My dad says you are spying on us online. The spy: He’s not your dad.
• When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
• I ran three miles the other day. Finally I said “Lady, keep your purse”.
• Attorney: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? Witness: ALL of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
• What washes up on very small beaches? Micro-waves
• Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word.

• I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
• A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
• I got a new job last week as the new top dog at Old MacDonald’s farm. I’m the new C-I-E-I-O.
• Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
• What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway.
• You know what they say about cliffhangers…
• Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
• The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?” And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.” That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
• Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
• What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.

• Where do snowmen keep their savings? In the snowbank.
• What do you call a religious person who sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic.
• A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.”
• Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. I still don’t know how I feel about that.
• Did you hear about the carrot detective? He always got to the root of every case.
• What did one elevator say to the other? I think I’m coming down with something.
• What happened when a faucet, a tomato, and some lettuce ran a race together? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
• What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

Knock Knock Jokes For Adults

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Venice.
  Venice who?
  Venice my paycheck coming?

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Iva.
  Iva who?
  Iva sore hand from knocking so long!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Yah.
  Yah who?
  Nah, I prefer Google!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Dishes.
  Dishes who?
  Dishes the police, open up!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Nana.
  Nana who?
  Nana your business!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  To.
  To who?
  It’s to whom!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Needle.
  Needle who?
  Needle little money, please!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Mustache.
  Mustache who?
  Mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Wooden shoe.
  Wooden shoe, who?
  Wooden shoe like to know!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Amish.
  Amish who?
  Really? You don’t look like a shoe!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Tank.
  Tank who?
  You’re welcome!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Adore. Adore who?
  Adore is between us.
  Open up!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Cargo.
  Cargo who?
  No, cargo “beep beep!”

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Boo.
  Boo who?
  Hey, don’t cry!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Police.
  Police who?
  Police stop telling these awful knock-knock jokes!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Irish.
  Irish who?
  Irish you a Merry Christmas!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Control freak.
  Con— OK, now you say,
  “Control freak who?!”

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Razor.
  Razor who?
  Razor hands, this is a stick-up!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Snow.
  Snow who?
  Snow use. I forgot my name again!

• Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Spell.
  Spell who?
  Okay, fine. W-H-O!

Continue reading these 190+ Knock Knock Jokes for all ages

Dad Jokes For Adults

• People are making apocalypse joke like there is no tomorrow!
• What’s Forrest Gump’s computer password? 1forrest1
• Did you hear the story about the haunted lift? It really raised my spirits!
• I dreamt about drowning in an ocean made of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta Sea.
• I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know i wouldn’t get a reaction.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field
• What kind of magic do cows believe in? Moodoo!
• What did the late tomato say to the other tomatoes? Don’t worry i’ll ketchup.
• Can I watch TV? Yes but don’t turn it on.

• Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts!
• What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn!
• Have you heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mainly wrap.
• My dog has no nose. How does it smell? Awful!
• What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus!
• There’s a new type of broom in stores. It’s sweeping the nation!
• A red and blue ship have collided in the Carribean sea. Apparently the suvivors are marooned.

• A policy officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other off.
• What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra!
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah!

Continue reading these 170 Funniest Dad Jokes & Puns For All Ages

Short Jokes For Adults

• You know what the ladies like on a date? Courtesy. Once I got into a world of trouble on a date when I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead I just swam for the surface.
• Walking past a lunatic asylum , and I could hear the inmates shouting 13, 13, 13, 13, curiosity got the better of me but the walls were too tall to see over .all the time they kept on shouting 13, 13, 13, finally I found a hole in the wall so I took a peep and some fool poked me in the eye with a stick and then they started shouting 14, 14, 14, 14.
• Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? Witness: The autopsy started around 8.30 PM. Attorney: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? Witness: If not, he was by the time I finished.
• Be careful when you buy online. I just spent $450 on a penis enlarger. The bastard sent me a magnifying glass!
• I invented a new word! Plagiarism!
• Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
• Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
• Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
• How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.

• How does Moses make tea? He brews.
• What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
• Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
• What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
• What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells.
• Why are astronauts so clean? They take meteor showers.
• When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
• What did the hamburgers name their new baby? Patty.

• What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Nothing, they’re extinct.
• Why shouldn’t you trust jungle animals? They’re always lion.
• What’s the best way to make an egg roll? Push it.
• A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
• Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

Corny Jokes For Adults

• What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spectator.
• What did the corn say after stubbing his toe? Aw, shuck!
• Why wouldn’t the young crab share his toys? He was feeling shellfish.
• A C, an Eb, and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve minors in here.”
• I went to a great wedding the other week. It was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
• Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.

• First rule of Thesaurus Club: You don’t talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, gossip or natter about Thesaurus Club.
• A man took his date to a zoo. They were disappointed to find that it only contained one animal: a dog. It was a shitzu.
• What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves!
• What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
• I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
• Did you hear about the cow that got lost in the mountains? The steaks have never been higher.
• What is Harper Lee’s favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird!
• Why do scuba divers always fall backward out of the boat? If they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat.
• I’ve got a joke about a tortilla but I think it might be a little too corny.

• Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
• What did the shy pebble say? I wish I was a little boulder.
• Did you hear about the kidnapping down the street? His mom woke him up.
• What did the fish say when he ran into a wall in the river? Dam!
• Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
• I saved up money for months to buy a limited-edition thesaurus. But when I opened it, all the pages were blank!
• I have no words to describe how angry I am.
• I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying, “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
• How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!

• Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
• So that when they return to port, then can Scandinavian.
• Why do golfers wear two pairs of shorts? Just in case they get a hole in one!
• What do you call the Children of the Corn’s father? “Pop” corn.
• What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.
• What did 0 say to 8? “Nice belt.”

Halloween Jokes For Adults

• What do ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing cream.
• What kind of rocks do ghosts collect? Tombstones.
• How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
• What do witches’ cats eat for breakfast? Mice crispies.
• Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
• Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
• Did you hear about the crazy vampire? He was totally batty.
• Who’s in charge of the candy corn? The kernel.

• What is a monster’s favorite pet? Creepy crawlies.
• Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
• When do cows turn into werewolves? During the full mooooooooon.
• Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
• What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car? Fasten your sheet-belts.
• How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes.

• What did the ghost say when it fell down? It got a boo-boo.
• What’s a werewolf’s go-to pickup line? Howl you doin’, good lookin’?
• Do zombies eat burgers with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
• What do you call a hip jack-o’-lantern? Waaay ahead of the carve.
• Where do you find the spookiest sweets on Halloween? The ghost-ery store.
• Why did the headless horseman decide to get a job? He wanted to get ahead in life.

Thanksgiving Jokes For Adults

• What made the cranberries go red? Seeing the turkey dressing.
• Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon right before Thanksgiving? To get a breast reduction.
• I accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes, so now I’m serving squash.
• If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner, don’t lose your head. The turkey already did that for you.
• What glass do turkeys drink wine from? Gobblets.
• What does every mom want to make on Thanksgiving? Dinner reservations.
• What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerk-ey!

• My husband doesn’t think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• What does a pumpkin like to read? Pulp fiction.
• What time do families sit down to Thanksgiving dinner? Halftime.
• What is the best song to play while preparing Thanksgiving dinner? “All About That Baste.”
• Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies? Because they use fowl language!
• What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
• What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth!

• Mom: “Time to fix Thanksgiving dinner.” Kids: “Why, is it broken?”
• Why did the policeman crash Thanksgiving dinner? To stop people from going over the feed limit.
• What comes at the end of Thanksgiving dinner? The letter “R.”
• What did the pilgrims use to bake their Thanksgiving desserts? May-flour.
• Why didn’t the Thanksgiving band get to perform? Someone ate the drumsticks.
• What does a vampire call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.

Easter Jokes For Adults

• What do Easter chicks have to do before they can become hens? Pass their eggs-ams.
• Why do you need an Easter egg hunting license? Because no poaching is allowed.
• What did one Easter egg say to the other? Heard any good yolks today?
• What do you call an Easter egg from outer space? An egg-straterrestrial!
• Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke? It might crack up!
• What do you call a very tired Easter egg? Eggs-austed.
• What’s an Easter egg’s least favorite day? Fry-day.

• What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolk-er.
• What happens if you tell a joke to an Easter egg? It cracks up.
• What did the Easter egg ask for at the hair salon? A new dye-job.
• Did you hear the one about the house infested with Easter eggs? It needed an eggs-terminator!
• Why was the little girl sad after the Easter egg hunt? Because an egg beater!
• Why did the Easter egg hide? It was a little chicken.
• Did you hear about the dirty Easter egg hunt? It was hosted by the dust bunny.
• What kind of rabbit tells jokes? A funny bunny.

• Why couldn’t the Easter Bunny watch his favorite show? Because his TV was scrambled!
• Did you hear about the bunny who sat on a bumblebee? It’s a tender tail!
• Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
• What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade? It was eggs-cellent.
• What do you get if you cross Winnie the Pooh and the Easter Bunny? A honey bunny.

Pun Jokes For Adults

• I got fired yesterday. My boss told me to leave my problems at the door when I come to work. So, I told him to go stand outside.
• Attorney: are you sexually active? Witness: No I just lie there
• All my life I thought air was free… until I bought a packet of ‘Lays’
• Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me, “Sir, I have two openings for you…!” I replied, “Yes, I know..!” … followed by an awkward silence
• An old couple decides to rekindle their younger years and have lunch naked. Wife: “You know, when I look at us now, it warms my heart”. Husband: “Your breast is in the soup dear”
• You remind me of my Chinese friend, ‘Ug Lee’
• A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.” “How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.”
• Why shouldn’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
• I had a taser once. It was stunning.
• Know any good rope jokes? I’m a frayed knot.
• What did one plant say to the other? “Girl, you really got me growing.”
• What’s the problem with scientists? Periodically they’re wrong.
• Why do coffee cups avoid the city? They’re afraid to get mugged.
• Why shouldn’t you argue with a dinosaur? You’ll get jurasskicked.
• I tried to take a photo of a wheat field. It turned out grainy.

• I’m afraid of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
• Why should you wear glasses when doing math? They improve division.
•  I’m happy Ford didn’t invent the airplane. It wouldn’t have been Wright.
• Who invented King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference.
• Why was six nervous? Because seven eight nine.
• I want to be a doctor, but I don’t have enough patience.

• What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
• Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
• Why couldn’t the bike stand up? It was two-tired.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• I don’t trust trees. They’re shady.
• A chemist walked into a couch store and ended up buying a photon.

Long Jokes for Adults

• A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely”. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said, “The sky is definitely blue”. The teacher said, “Well, that isn’t entirely correct, because sometimes it’s grey and cloudy”. Another student says, “Grass is definitely green.” The teacher again replies “If grass doesn’t get enough water it turns brown, so that isn’t really correct either.” Finally, Billy raises his hand and asks the teacher “Do farts have lumps?” The teacher looked at him and said “No…But that isn’t really a question you want to ask in class discussion.” So Billy replies, “Then I definitely just shit my pants.”
• A New Vacuum Salesman knocked on the door. A tall lady answered it.Before she could speak, the salesman barged into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit onto the Carpet..
  Salesman: “Madam, If i couldn’t clean this up with my New Powerful Vacuum cleaner, i’ll EAT all this shit !”
  Lady:”Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?”
  Salesman: “Why Madam?”
  Lady:”Cause There is no electricity in the house.”
• A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years out in a park. One day a wizard, feeling sorry for the statues, brought them to life for 30 minutes. Right away, the two of them ran into some nearby bushes and you could hear all kinds of strange sounds from there. After a while they came back out, giggling. The wizard told them “You have another 15 minutes left, if you want to have another go.” The statues looked at each other and the male statue answered “Fine, but this time you hold the pigeon and I will shit on it.”
• One day a city stockbroker decides he has just had too much. Too much stress, too much of the big city, too much everything. So he quits him job, gives up his apartment and rents out a Cabin in the middle of the wilderness. For six months he lives in tranquillity and isolation. Then, one day, there is a knock at the door.
  He opens the door to see this huge lumberjack with a giant beard shuffling from foot to foot nervously. Eventually the big man speaks:
  “I’m yer neighbour from the cabin about a mile down the road. Anyhow, I’m having a party on Saturday and I wondered if you’d like to come.”
  The guy pauses for a second and then replies: “You know what, that would be great. It is about time I got out and it would be nice to meet some new people. I’d love to come.”
  “Right,” says the lumberjack, looking a little relieved. “I’ll see you about eight o’clock on Saturday then.” And then he turns to leave.
  But he pauses for a second and then turns back: “I should probably warn you, there is gonna be some pretty heavy drinking.”
  “Well, I’m sure that’s OK. I used to drink quite a bit myself back in the city, so I think I’ll be alright with a bit of hard liquor.”
  “Right then,” says the big man. “Well, eight o’clock then.”
  But as he turns to go he pauses again and turns back: “Yeah, I should also mention: most likely there will also be a bit of fighting before the evening finishes.”
  “Uh, well, OK,” the guy replies. “I mean, I get on pretty well with most people so I don’t see that being a problem. But if it gets rough, then I am sure I can take care of myself.
  “Right then,” says the big man. “See you at eight o’clock then.”
  But once again he pauses and turns back, scratching his beard: “So I probably also need to tell you: there might be some pretty wild sex.”
  The guy perks up a bit at that. “Well, you know, we are all consenting adults. And after all this time out here alone, I don’t think I’d have any problem with some intimate company if that’s what happens.”
  “OK then,” says the man. “Well, see you Saturday.” And with that he turns and starts to stroll away.
  “Oh wait, just one question,” says the guy. “What should I wear?”
  The lumberjack pauses to think, and scratches his beard again. “I don’t suppose it really matters much. It’s just gonna be you and me.”

We hope these jokes for adults added a bit of fun to your day. Life’s too short to take everything too seriously, right? Whether it’s a Monday or any day, let’s keep the laughter going. Share a joke with a friend, spread the good vibes, and remember, a smile can make any day a bit brighter. Until next time, stay easy going and keep the humor alive!

Do you need jokes for your kids?

• 240 Funny Jokes for Kids
• 100+ Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
• 130+ Funny Animal Jokes for Kids
• 130+ Winter Jokes for Kids
• 180+ Dad Jokes for Kids
• Would You Rather Questions for Kids