181+ Dad Jokes for Kids – Funny And Corny Puns

Even though kid friendly dad jokes make us groan and roll our eyes, we secretly love these fatherly puns that are so bad they’re good.

Have you ever heard a joke so simple, yet so hilariously bad, that you couldn’t help but laugh? Then you’ve been the target of a dad joke.These are the kind of jokes that are so obvious, they’re genius. They’re the puns that make you groan and the one-liners that catch you off guard.

Let’s celebrate these wonderfully awful jokes that have the tackiest way of putting smiles on faces.

10 Funniest Dad Jokes For Kids

• Why did the bicycle keep falling over? It was two tired.
• Did you hear the rumor about butter? Better not spread it.
• Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shell-fish.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.

• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
• What does a house always wear to a party? Address.
• What do you call a band of berries playing music? A jam session.
• Why did the broom decide to go to bed? It was very sweepy!

• How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
• Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

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Dad Jokes That Are Answers

Answer dad jokes are jokes where dads take advantage of a situation where their kid either asks for something or makes a statement. Here’s a list of great ones!

• Kid: Dad I’m Hungry
  Dad: Hi Hungry, I’m dad.
• Kid: Dad can you put my sweater on?
  Dad: I don’t think it will fit me.
• Kid: How long’s dinner?
  Dad: About 20cm
• Kid: I’ll call you later.
  Dad: No, call me Dad.

• Kid: I’m cold.
  Dad: Then go sit in the corner — it’s 90 degrees!
• Kid: What time is it?
  Dad: Time to get a watch!
• Kid: What’s that?
  Dad: It’s a henweigh.
• Kid: What’s a henweigh?
  Dad: About two pounds.
• Kid: I had a thought.
  Dad: I thought I smelled something burning!
• Kid: Dad, can you put the cat out?
  Dad: I didn’t know it was on fire.
• Kid: Dad, my nose is running.
  Dad: Well, you better go catch it!

• Kid: Ow, I hurt my foot!
  Dad: Well, what’d you do that for?
• Kid: Dad, can you make me a sandwich?
  Dad: Poof! You’re a sandwich.
• Kid: Did you get a haircut?
  Dad: No, I got them all cut!
• Kid: Can you put my shoes on?
  Dad: No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
• Kid: Dad, how do I look?
  Dad: With your eyes.
• Dad: What’s this vegetable called?
  Kid: An artichoke.
  Dad: Well, it may have choked Artie, but it won’t choke Dad!
• Kid: “Why is the sky blue?”
  Dad: “Because if it were green, we wouldn’t know where to stop mowing.”
• Kid: “I can’t find my shoes.”
  Dad: “Well, at least your socks have a pair.”
• Kid: “I’m hot.”
  Dad: “Hi Hot, I’m Dad. It’s not the heat that bothers me; it’s all this ‘coolness’ around.”

• Kid: “I want to be a superhero.”
  Dad: “Great! But remember, with great power comes great responsibility – like cleaning your room.”

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Corny Dad Jokes

• What did the doctor say to the panicked man who was afraid he was shrinking?Settle down — you’ll have to learn to be a little patient!
• What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
• Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
• What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
• What side of a tree grows the most branches? The outside!
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky!

• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
• What does a baby computer call its father? Data!
• Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggie.
• What is the most popular time for a dentist appointment? Tooth hurty!
• Why did the girl bring a ladder on the bus? She wanted to go to high school.
• I have a joke about putting in a light bulb, but I’m afraid I’ll screw it up.
• What state is known for its tiny beverages? Minnesota!
• How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.

• Why can’t you ever run through a campsite? You can only ran — it’s always past tents!
• Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.
• When does a regular joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent!
• Why did the girl toss a clock out the window? She wanted to see time fly.
• How do you cure a fear of a speed bump? You slowly get over it.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
• What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
• What do you call a beehive with no exit? Unbelievable!
• Where do armies belong? In your sleevies.
• Did you hear about that person who was afraid of jumping a hurdle? They got over it!
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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• What invention allows us to see through walls? Windows.
• What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest!
• Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
• I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.
• What’s the difference between a badly dressed kid on a bicycle and a well dressed kid on a tricycle? Attire!
• Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist? He needed to get crowns.

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• What did the photon say to the hotel bellhop? No luggage, I’m traveling light!
• What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
• What’s green and has wheels? Grass! I lied about the wheels.
• How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
• Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores!
• What kind of music scares balloons? Pop music.
• Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better!
• Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
• Do you want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke! Joke! Jooooooooooooooooke.
• What do dogs and phones have in common? Both have collar ID.

• What happened when the world’s tongue-twister champion got arrested? They gave him a tough sentence.
• How do you stop a bull from charging? You cancel its credit card.
• What breed of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper? Any breed of dog! Skyscrapers can’t jump.
• Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.
• What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad!
• I have a joke about banking, but I lost interest.
• What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.
• What’s the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven!
• What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe.
• What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
• What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
• Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s Belt? It’s a big waist of space!
• What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? 14 carrot gold.

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• Why did the coffee go to the police? To report a mugging!
• What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
• Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice.
• What do you call a line of dads waiting to get haircuts? The barberqueue!
• How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying? You rocket.
• What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
• Did you hear about the square that got into a car accident?  Yeah, now he’s a rect-angle!
• Why did the nose feel sad? It was always getting picked on.
• I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking.
• Why was the woman afraid for the calendar? She said its days were numbered!
• Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

• What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream it!
• What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
• Why are balloons so expensive? Inflation!
• What happens when doctors get frustrated? They lose their patients.
• Why can’t the sailor learn the alphabet? Because he kept getting lost at C.
• Why can’t you send a duck to space? Because the bill would be astronomical!
• Why shouldn’t you trust trees? They seem shady.
• Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
• What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
• I have a joke about being a rejected organ donor, but I just don’t have the guts to tell it.

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• Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory? He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
• Did you hear about the king who was exactly 12 inches tall? He was a great ruler!
• What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.

Dad Joke Puns

• Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind it’s too cheesy…
• I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
• Why can’t you trust a balloon? It’s full of hot air.
• The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
• Where did the cat go after losing its tail? The retail store.
• Bigfoot is sometimes confused for Sasquatch — Yeti never complains.
• I have a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.
• How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
• It’s raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step in a poodle.
• What is a calendar’s favorite food? Dates.

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• I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist, but he was too baroque.
• What do you call birds that stick together? Velcrows
• After dinner Mom asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
• What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane.
• Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead dough.
• I entered a pun contest. I submitted 10 of my best puns to see if any would be a win. However, no pun in ten did…
• What did one hat say to the other? You go on ahead.
• I just found out I’m colorblind. The news came out of the orange!
• I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.
• I hate my job — all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
• Did you hear about the cold dinner? It was chili.
• My dream job is to clean mirrors, because I can really see myself doing that.
• Not sure if you have noticed, but I love bad puns. That’s just how eye roll.
• RIP, boiling water. You will be mist.

• I have a joke about immortality, and it never gets old.
• Why should you never use a dull pencil? Because it’s pointless.
• I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed!
• Why did the picture go to jail? He was framed.
• My dog is a genius. I asked him, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
• How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together.
• I have a few jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
• I’m reading an anti-gravity book, and I just can’t put it down!
• What type of music do the planets enjoy? Neptunes.

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• Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows — they’re making headlines!
• Did you hear about the walnut and cashew that threw a party? It was nuts.
• A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.
• What do you call a medieval lamp? A knight light.
• My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!
• What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.
• I have a joke about drilling, but it’s boring.
• Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.

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• What did the roof say to the shingle? The first one’s on the house.
• I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dogs.
• Why did the baseball player get arrested? He stole third base.
• I found a wooden shoe in my toilet — it was clogged.
• Why do dragons sleep during the day? Because they like to fight knights.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet — I just don’t know y.
• What do you give a scientist with bad breath? Experi-mints.
• I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
• Why did the phone wear glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.

• A magician was walking down the street — then he turned into a store.
• What did the blanket say to the bed? I’ve got you covered.
• My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.
• Why did the watch go on vacation? To unwind.
• My therapist told me I have problems expressing my emotions. Can’t say I’m surprised.
• What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose.
• I decided to sell the vacuum cleaner — it was just gathering dust!
• What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill? A lambslide.
• I can tell when you’re lying just by looking at you. I can also tell when you’re standing.
• What kind of sandals do frogs wear? Open-toad.

• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs.
• I’d avoid the sushi if I were you — it’s a little fishy!
• Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.
• I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
• What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bed time.
• My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
• Why did the deer go to the dentist? It had buck teeth.
• We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.
• Where does a sheep go to get a haircut? The baa baa shop.

• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• How do you organize a space party? You planet.
• I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.

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What are Dad Jokes for kids?

A dad joke is “an unoriginal or predictable joke, especially a pun, of a type supposedly told by fathers.” Now, a dad joke for kids is one that has a simple pun, is inoffensive and does not include adult language.

Here’s an example: A child says to his father, “I’m hungry,” the father replies, “Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad.

It’s chillingly bad. These jokes are typically a pun, often presented as a one-liner or a question and answer. They are generally inoffensive and stereotypically told with sincere humorous intent or to intentionally provoke a negative “groaning” reaction to their overly simplistic humor.

You’ll see that dad jokes start occurring when a man becomes a father. His humor changes. This is not a joke. It’s as if his humor DNA completely rebuilds for the purpose of cheering or annoying his children and household. He’ll start cracking simple jokes like his father did and his father’s father before him.

There’s no avoiding these scientifically proven changes to a man’s DNA. Wherever fatherhood presents itself, dad jokes await. Brace yourself.

And there you have it, our journey into the wondrous world of dad jokes for kids comes to a close. We hope these pun-packed gems have added a sprinkle of laughter to your day and maybe even inspired a few eye-rolls (the true mark of a successful dad joke).

Looking for something funny for the adults?

• 190+ Funny Jokes For Adults
• 190+ Knock Knock Jokes for all ages
• 170 Funniest Dad Jokes & Puns For All Ages